It’s hardly controversial news that the American Republican party is openly hostile to members of the LGBT community in the United States and world wide. This largely stems from Bronze Age morality transmuted through the cult of the Edomite god of copper metallurgy, Yahweh. In his mythos, the mad metallurgist himself, notorious for his lack of empathy, narcissistic tendencies, unpredictable mood swings and gas lighting, allegedly told Moses that he didn’t want no homos humping or sucking dick. Like at all. Because it’s a really bad sin. It’s truly no wonder so many Republicans admire him as he reminds them of their own father, or whichever of their male relatives groomed them after taking them to church on Sunday.

However, as with most fairy tales, it is not based in reality. Homosexuality is as normal and natural to human nature as not wanting to pay taxes and as American as apple pie. So unsurprisingly, there should be a… plethora… of gay and bisexual men in the Republican party, simply as a matter of statistics. The current self-reported percentage of LGBT Americans is around 4.5% and rising. Interestingly, Americans vastly overestimate the percentage of the population that are LGBT at 23-25% of the population i.e. 1 in 4. There are currently 222 Republican members of the house and 49 Senators. There are 182 male members of the house and 41 male Senators. George Santos, the recently elected psychopath from New York, is the only out and proud homosexual in the Republican delegation, however, there is at least one senator whose sexuality is an open secret and had a well documented love for a now deceased senator.

What does it all mean, Basil?? Well, I think we have a bisexual problem specifically within the Republican male delegation. The true percentage of LGBT Americans is likely much higher than the self-reported 4.5% due to decades of oppression and violence at the hands of other closeted gay American men. The correct number is probably much closer to the predicted 1 in 4. Nevertheless if we split the baby in half, and take 15% we are still left shaking our heads at all these closeted men in the Republican party. The number of bisexuals of the LBGT community is hard to pin down since it exists on a spectrum and some self identify either as gay, queer or some other alternative.

In recent years, female bisexuality has received more widespread acceptance among the American population due to misogyny and objectification of women. However, we have not seen that with male bisexuals, who as far as we know, make up the same percentage of LGBT members as women. So where are all these closeted bisexual men in congress? Well, in short, a significant portion of these men are attracted to men but too scared to tell you. Additionally, due to the stigma and threat of violence from a demographic with a statistically higher percentage of psychopaths and sociopaths (politicians not homosexuals), previous partners are wary to out their hypocritical lovers for fear of violent retribution. This number is likely higher due to the average age of congressional members being around 64; they come from a generation which is far less accepting of homosexuality and reality in general. Add this to their membership to all male fraternal orders, fraternities in college (94% of them are college educated, also a higher indicator for homosexuality), sports clubs and Evangelical churches. which all boast a larger percentage of homosexual membership per capita than the general population, there is likely just a ton of homos running the Republican party right now.

Why is this a problem? In and of itself, it’s not because a homosexual is either inherently good or bad in the way that a mouse or a hammer is good or bad. However, the party has made it their bread and butter wedge issue to hate other LGBT people despite having such a large membership calling the shots.

With notorious pederast and groomer, Matt Gaetz (Kevin McCarthy’s current lover and dom), calling the shots, we are likely to see a change in this soon.